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| Goodbye 2015. High hopes for 2016. |
I had high hopes for 2015. It was the year when my
dreams were to come true; the year I expected my life to change.
December 31, 2014, about ten minutes to midnight. I
started writing about what I want to accomplish for 2015. 2014 was extremely
special to me. It was the year when I graduated from law school, the year I
took the bar exams and the year I was hired in my dream law firm. Indeed, I
received a lot of blessings in 2014. I was excited for 2015: the year I will
become a lawyer.
But God had a different plan. I failed the Bar Exams.
I failed to achieve what I intended to accomplish for this year because everything
was conditioned upon passing the bar exam.
I cried myself to sleep on that day I received the
awful news that I did not make it. That time, I was not sure if I’ll take the
bar again. I knew that this was going to be a long year, filled with
disappointments. But I was wrong. In spite of what happened, 2015 taught me a
lot of things.
Perhaps the most important lesson that I have learned
is Patience. I was always in a hurry. I could not wait to graduate so that I
could start with my review. I could not wait to finish my review so that I
could take the bar. I could not wait to finish all four Sundays of the Bar Exam
so that I could become a lawyer. I could not wait for the results to come out
so that my life would finally change.
It is an age-old adage that good things come to those
who wait. What happened to me this year was a reminder of the importance of
waiting. Indeed, good things take time and everything happens in God’s perfect
timing, not ours.
Aside from Patience, 2015 also taught me the importance
of embracing our failures. When I learned that I failed the Bar Exams,
conspiracy theories formed in my head. Maybe my booklets were not properly
checked. Maybe the bar code system failed. Maybe the examiners were just too
lazy to read everything. Never did I accept the fact that there was something
wrong with me. Sure, at the lowest point in my life, I think the easiest thing
to do was to blame others.
Somewhere during my preparation for the 2015 Bar, I
realized that I did commit a lot of mistakes. Nobody was truly at fault but me.
Suddenly, it seemed that I was not really prepared for the first time I took
the Bar. Maybe because I was overconfident. Maybe I was not just too focused.
As I embrace my failure, I learned how to forgive
myself. I was able to look at things differently. It showed me how this failure
opens up new possibilities for future success. I have gotten over my shallow
belief that success only comes with the acquisition of title. It is not. There
is more to life than the highly coveted period to the end of my ATTY.
2015 has also taught me how to be sensitive. It is
easy to take your happiness to social media when everything you want is handed
to you. It is easy to justify your pride at the expense of other’s sorrow when
you got what you want.
My experiences in 2015 taught me to be sensitive.
Everyone may be fighting a battle I know nothing about. In the past, I did not
care if my social media posts would hurt others; after all, it is my right to
be proud and happy. But being on the other side of things gave me a different
perspective. From then on, I vowed to be a more responsible user of social
media most especially about the happiness that I experience which could cause
other people’s sorrow.
2015 also taught me to go after my dreams. I used to
have a lot of dreams but because I was so fixated on passing the bar, I had to
let them go. 2015 encouraged me to pursue them. Sure, becoming a lawyer is one
of my dreams but it does not have to stop there. I know I have the skills and
qualities that are essential to make my other dreams come true. Yes, 2015
inspired me to be limitless.
2015 surely taught me how to be more grateful, to be
thankful for the blessings that I have received, in spite of everything that
happened. Yes, it is easy to be grateful when you get what you have prayed for.
It is easy to rant about the things that go wrong instead of focusing on what
is good in your life. But with everything that happened, this year taught me to
look at the good in something rather than focus on what went wrong. 2015 taught
me to be grateful for all the blessings that I have received. After all,
everything happens in God’s perfect time.
Lastly, 2015 taught me that life is unfair and we
just have to get used to it. We have to embrace the fact that we are bound to
get everything in life just because we are good, intelligent, prepared or have
the right connections. As the saying goes, expecting the world to be fair just
because you are is like expecting a lion not to eat you because you did not eat
him. But it does not mean that we must give up. We must not lose the heart and
the courage to go after what we want.
Indeed, this year is one hell of a ride. This is the
year that I failed the Bar. It is the year that I got my heartbroken because I
know I disappointed a lot of people. The year I had to put everything on hold
again. But like Ted Mosby, I hold on to the promise that these experiences,
albeit painful, would surely lead me to where I am supposed to be. And all the
more, I am excited for what 2016 may bring.
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